IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS

                                                            Over the years, I've been through so much. Now, I know what you're thinking. Being through something sounds negative, tough, difficult, etc... Nevertheless, there are also the good sides of my life too. I'm not here to narrate the story of my life, however, I want to use this medium to share some thoughts on some lessons I have learnt in my path.

1. Life is not a bed of roses. This idiom I first came in contact with at fourth grade I never knew would form a major part of my understanding of life in itself. A lot of things happen to people that make them want to quit, give up, commit suicide, etc. but I guess the problem stems from the fact that when people aren't well oriented on how to deal with difficult times, they tend to fall apart in times of despair. That expression simply connotes that, difficult times will surely come. You've got to be ready to deal with them. This brings us to the question, "how do we prepare for dread?"

2. Prepare to fail forward. This mentality has helped me to scale through at the most difficult points in my life, be it a failed relationship, or project, a job interview, etc. I always find the good side of every hurting circumstance. Let’s take a job interview as an example, once, I went in there and came out feeling frustrated at the level of rejection depicted by the interviewer. In this case, she blatantly told me, “you’re not up to our standard, you don’t come across as intelligent.” At first I felt terrible., but after giving it some reasonable thought, I told myself the truth that I know, which is that I am intelligent and the only reason I’m not working in that organization is because God has better plans for me. And there, I dropped all the hurt and pain in anticipation for a better job and day. Indeed it did come.

Failing forward is all about seeing failure from the optimistic point of view. It is about understanding the need to ‘dust yourself up and try again” according Aliyah . It is realizing that when you accept failure as an opportunity to do something different or extraordinary…then, there really isn’t such a thing as failure for you.

3. Don’t live each day like it’s your last. As much as I agree to the report of that phrase in a positive light, that is, 'live each day like it’s your last’, I agree to disagree. I say, “Live each day with hope. The moment you stop hoping, life becomes meaningless." Even if you live for a hundred years more, if all those years were filled with hopelessness, they’ll be miserable days. So live in anticipation for another better day ahead. That’s how I live.

4. My best friend isn’t a human being. Yes. So many times we hear people say stuff like, “They are BFFs.” “She is my BFF.’ Lols. If you’ve been there and done all that, you’ll surely know that there is nothing like that. This is because of obvious reasons. Your best friend has another best friend who has another best friend and the list goes on. You share your secrets with a friend who shares with another friend. So, this observation over time made me realize that my deepest secrets, as much as it may be tempting to share are best kept to myself and best shared with only one person: the Holy Spirit. He is the only one who doesn’t talk about me behind my back or do some back-stabbing unforgivable thing to me. He is the one that comforts me and counsels me in times of despair without talking me down or making me feel less of who I am, He is my BFF.

5. With patience and determination, you can achieve anything (that is possible). There is a reason I put ‘that is possible’ in bracket. Some people have a tendency to misread ones point of view. When I say you can achieve anything, I don’t mean that if as a child you always wished you could grow wings and fly, that with patients and determination one day, you’ll actually grow wings and fly. No no no no! It means that, if you really want something that is realistic, irrespective of what people say, the society you grew up in, the financial stratus of your folks, and other forms of limitation, with patience (perseverance) and determination, you’ll get there. You’ll achieve your goals if you don’t quit or give up or stop hoping. Holding is the key.          

 

From Bruce To Caitlyn Jenner: A Tragedy

I know I've been off for quite some time, but I must say that this particular news really got me thinking and needing to post something.

It's been in the news for quite some time now, but finally, it has actually happened. Bruce Jenner father to Kylie and Kendall Jenner of Keeping Up With the Kardeshians has finally introduced..himself..sorry...herself to the world in the person of Caitlyn Jenner .

This is mind-blowing. I know our celebrities can do some crazy shit..but this one is off the hook! I call this a tragedy! Call me judgmental or whatever you dim fit, but I say "this is terrible!" I can't think off enough vocabulary to express the rage at which the entertainment industry (by which I mean..celebrities and the media at large) propagate gross misconduct and misdemeanor in the society.

How can people call this beautiful and even consider giving an award for it?

Let's Stop the Hate!

Good morning Nigeria...I just want to reassure and reaffirm that no one, except God himself has the capacity to tear down this country. It doesn't matter the hate out there, the political thugs running wild, intimidating people all over the place, bokoharam terrorizing and killing people all over the place, etc...until God reigned down fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, until He sent plagues to Egypt, etc, no army had the capacity to overcome them as a nation. Hence, I'll encourage Nigerians to retain some sanity for after the election and also for us to have a little faith...not in the leadership, but in God who is the only one that can fashion our lives and our country in a manner that'll favor us.

How Was Your First Quarter?

At the beginning of this year, I posted . In that post, I talked about the importance of goal-setting. We have come to the end of the first quarter of the year, I want to remind you my beloved readers, Did you set your goals? Did you achieve anything this first quarter? What successes have you been able to record? Beyond uploading pictures and opinions or gossip on or any other social media sites, what tangible thing did you achieve? I however, did achieve so much, even beyond my expectations...and I'm just beginning. Once again, I'd like to remind us again that the importance of goal-setting can never be over-emphasized if you seek progress. It isn't left for your boss or father, or the poor (like some people think). Goal-setting helps you plan, it helps you manage your finances and other resources at your disposal. You can't sit back and watch the world pass you by and yet expect some level of success in your life. Many times, we blame the government or the economy for our problems. One thing that should come to our mind is that, as much as the government has responsibilities to build roads, schools, hospitals, etc. They are not responsible for your personal development, skills acquisition, etc Even if the government makes the provisions or any other NGO offers some form of free training, if you don't DECIDE to sign-up, it's on you. A lot of people are ok with where they are. Don't get me wrong, there's a difference between being content with what you have and lacking aspirations. I hereby encourage you my friend to learn to plan your life and grow, and you can only do that through goal-setting. N/B: People get lucky sometimes and get something they didn't plan for, nevertheless it doesn't happen everyday. You can't plan your life based on sheer hope of luck.

Funniest 2015 Presidential Election Pictures

Hello people, it has been a season of tension following the 2015 Presidential Election in Nigeria, nevertheless, some folks thought it wise to create some pictures to reduce the tension. Here are some funny pictures that were inspired by the election.

Men Marry For Strategic Reasons: Part 1

    They say no man wants to marry a liability and yet any woman that is looking for and probably waiting for a man that is financially stable enough to cater for her and her children is mostly termed 'materialistic'...next they come up with stuff like "it's a man's world." Really?

One thing is certain, men marry for strategic reasons, I think the female folks shouldn't be left out on the whole 'strategic marriage' thingy. if you want to settle down, don't be intimidated by advices like...it doesn't matter how much he is earning, or it doesn't matter where he is from, if he is short or tall, etc.  As the man is scoping you, checking if you can cook, keep the house clean, have children, etc....ladies, check if he is a giver/stingy, if he can be a good father, if he doesn't have a good relationship with his mom...check it. If he doesn't have a job or isn't earning much...check it. find out why. Is it because he is lazy and  has a laise affaire attitude towards his work or he is just passing through a phase...they are not the same thing.

  Like Myles Monroe stated in one of his messages, "divorce is a result of marriage." It is better a failed relationship than a failed marriage. Not everyone is destined for the Cinderella and beauty and the beast kind of love story. Most times...considering the level of moral decadence in the world today, people experience a lot of heartbreaks and disappointments before they finally find 'The One'. however, it is better you find yours at thirty and live happily ever after than jump in at twenty-four and live the rest of your life correcting that mistake.

   Don't start what you can't finish. he'll probably remain the same after marriage as when you both were dating. so you better be sure by the time you declare, "I do."

"I MUST MARRY WHO I LOVE." REALLY?

  

 

hahahahaha! I can't help laughing because this particular subject is quite hilarious-serious too. it is hilarious because when you here people say things like, "but I love him", especially when the man in question doesn't give a shit about her, you can't help but find it hilarious. it is also serious because a person in love is, and I quote, "mostly the most disillusioned person" when it comes to his/her object of affection. they don't get it! sometimes, even with the evidence right in their eyes, they'd rather be in denial.

   So here I was listening to this preacher and he says something that hit me. Something that has mouled my mindset about men and relationships a long time ago. He said, "don't marry who you love, love who you marry." if you are married and you agree with him, kindly type "preach on preacher!" (and hit like) This is because the bible actually said, "husbands, love your wife..." This is why marriage is strategic. I have heard stories of people that abandoned relationships of seven years to be with someone they met within a couple of months. I am not encouraging you to (purposely) go about breaking hearts and toying with people's emotions. I'm saying, be wise: at the beginning, in the middle...whenever you discover that what you are in isn't what you anticipate for in the future, abandon ship! DO IT WISELY!

   A number of times, during my chat with married women, they told me "everything is not about love" "sometimes love is not enough"...hehehe. Seriously? Even I find it hard to comprehend, but too bad, that is the hard truth. So you are madly in love with this tall, handsome, swagged-up dude, but he uses your body as a punching bag. my beloved, run for your life. So you are in love with this guy who has slept with a number of your girlfriends (while you were dating) and then he comes back all romantic and loving you up again...haven't you heard about HIV? So you're in love with a guy who thinks the only use you are to him is to cook, clean, scrub, mop, satisfy him in bed...next he'll say you're deperate. For this type, two things are involved, either they realize it too late that they messed up big time, or they marry someone else...well, less 'desperate'. Guys, you're in love with a lady who only remembers you when she has money-needs...and yet you prefer her to the one that is taking good care of you.

n/b: people in love are in very delicate situations, you've got to handle them with care. whether you're rendering advice or suggesting or giving them information, I strongly believe you should be subtle and most importantly...pray for them.

I AM MAKING THINGS HAPPEN!

While they slept I learnt. One thought kept coming to my mind though, "shall I quit because of the competition?" I answered, "No." I thought, Rihanna didn't give up because Beyonce was already in the picture.  50 Cent didn't give up because Dr. Dre was in the picture. Sinach didn't give up because Cece Winans was already there. So I convinced myself. I won't give up. I won't quit. God has deposited so many abilities and I won't waste it. I see myself doing things I only fantasized about. 

  kim kardeshian once made a video claiming that she will become a celebrity someday. "Hello people! Did she finally make it happen?" I don't care if you read this and think, "Oh what a shallow-minded girl." "I'm gonna happen and I'm making things happen!"

 So many people just live for themselves and their family. However, God has made some of us life-changers, answers, solutions, trendsetters. That is why We ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THE ORDINARY!! I am still at the audition stage...hahaha...by the time I begin to manifest...I can only be a wonder to muy generation. The world is waiting for the manifestation of the sons of God( people like me).

JUST SIT BACK, RELAX AND WATCH.

Is Muna Obiekwe Really Dead?

The past 24 hours have been rocked with the news of one of Nigeria's Nollywood actor Muna Obiekwe. Bloggers have been spreading the news like wild fire while a Twitter account @munaobiekwe claims "I am alive and well by his grace". Earlier today, we are told that that Twitter account is a fake. His fabs are quite confused. Whatever is the case, I think it's not right to play with people's lives like that. To the Obiekwes, if this news of his death is true, then may the almighty God grant you fortitude to bear your loss. We, his fans mourn with you. Nollywood will everly miss him. Take heart.

Keep Believing in Love

Nigerian Airport Staff: Are They Under-paid?

   As I approached the entrance of the airport building, several security personnel were by the door; Army staff, some men in sky-blue uniform, immigration. One of them walks up to me and asks me, “What do you have in these bags?” “Clothes and toiletries.” I answered. “Ehen, na only you de travel with all these loads?” “Yes.” I answered. Then he gives me a very mischievous smile saying, “Oya with your church mind, find me something make I take keep body.” I smiled innocently like I didn’t understand where he was going with that. My sister interrupted, “Oga she no even get enough money to travel with abeg, na small pikin she be.”

    This incident hardly left my mind because from the time I started my check-in till I boarded the airplane, I had to keep defending myself from one airport staff at one point or the other trying to extort money from me. Then, I keep hearing Nigerians say stuff like, its normal once you are traveling for the first time. I can’t help but wonder about the fact that, whether it’s a person’s first time or not doesn’t make it right for anyone to extort money from people at our airports.

What could be the cause of all these? Is it that they are underpaid? Or, is it that it is approved by the ogas at the top? This is not different from the policemen standing by the roads extorting money from drivers. It is so normal that people can pass with anything good/bad in and out of the country because once you settle/bribe them, they cease to search your luggage and let you pass.

   This is not right. Highly unacceptable. I know many people have faced this challenge at the airport but could hardly say anything. Nonetheless, this is my avenue for expressing my thoughts concerning any matter that sparks my interest. In other countries (at least the parts i visited), Nigerians are welcomed and treated with respect (unless you are a criminal). Why is it in our home country that our people make things difficult for each other? It is not right at all. They, if given the opportunity will rip someone off of his/her Basic Travel Allowance (BTA). If you are not bold and confident enough to defend yourself, you’ll leave the airport with only half of the money you came in with. It’s not right at all. Nigerians shouldn’t be okay with just about anything. They shouldn’t just settle for any kind of harassment that arise in the society. Before long, it becomes a norm. Everyone begins to see it as an acceptable way of living. When making travel arrangements, you now have to make plans for money to settle airport staff.

Mtcheeeeeeeew!

This is the much I can say on this matter for now.

---

 [W1]

SO I TURNED INTO A POET

So I turned into a poet

All because of you, all because it’s true, the way I feel for you

The way you make me blue

So I turned into a poet

Though it’s only a dream, I can’t wait for it to be real, that I’m yours for real

Oh what a thrill

So I turned into a poet

To pen it down I sealed the deal, I hope out of the book you make it real

Only then will I wake from my dream

So I turned into a poet

A thousand times I have pondered, mu heart often in wonder

What a day to explore my ‘bother’

So I turned into a poet

Writing down my plans. Stating what I can.

In hope that it’ll stand

So I turned into a poet.

To make my feelings known. If I’m let I’ll show

To reap what I’ve sown

So I turned into a poet

So somehow you’ll read it. Emotionally you’ll feel it.

Physically you become it

So I turned into a poet

I hope someday we’ll play in the rain, and sometime kiss in the train and forever let it reign.

So I’ll forever be your poet.

MY NEW YEAR GIFT TO YOU: A CANDID ADVICE

I do not have any new yew year resolutions or any bad habit to break, nevertheless, I have plans. I have goals to achieve before the end of this year.

   Dear reader, what are your plans? So many people live their lives as they see it. Every day, they wake up and set out for the day just like that. With no plans: no ambition for the day. When asked what their plans are, they give answers like, “Well, I just live each day as it comes.” I used to be like that before. However, I realized overtime that when you live like that, you just have to accept whatever you see. I know there are certain circumstances we cannot control, nevertheless, having a plan makes it easier for you to live each day with a sense of direction, knowing where you are going to and what to expect by the end of the day.  So each day, you live with the goal of moving a step closer to achieving your plan for the year.

   Goal setting is a key to achieving your goals. You may not be able to achieve everything, but you can achieve some or most of it and if possible everything. The importance of goal setting in our daily lives cannot be over emphasized as even the Bible in Habbakuk 2:2 says,

                          “And the Lord answered me and said, write the vision and 
                            make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”

You need to have a plan for your life starting from today, so much so that whoever walks into your life gets acquainted with it and runs with it, i.e walks/works with you in that direction . This is why it is so important to mind the kind of people you surround yourself with as they have a lot to contribute to whether or not you will achieve your goals. A lot of people are so lost and confused about life, and that’s usually because they don’t have a goal. The equation is like this:

Goals + plans + execution = realization/achievement

You may have a good job or business that earns you a lot of income, enough to feed and clothe, but still feel empty. This is because there is more to life than just eating and wearing clothes.

   Goal setting helps you in different ways. One of the most important was is, it helps you set your priorities right. For instance, if it’s necessary to buy that new shoe or hand bag, if you must take that trip, etc. every day, you need to focus on how your plans for the day moves you an inch closer to the big picture. By goal setting, one can analyz one’s needs by drawing a scale of preference, starting from the most important to the least. Hence, you have a perspective as to what your anticipations are and how you will go about achieving them.

	Take a test       Ask a friend or a relative, “what are your plans for the year?”

 

You will be shocked at some of the answers you’ll get.

    It’s a new year, many have entered in anticipation of what the year will bring to them. Truth is, it is not about what the year has to offer, but what you are bringing into the year. It’s about the plans you have put in place to achieve in the year. The year is not going to live itself. You and I are the ones who will live in the year. Hence, the ball is in our courts. It is our responsibility to decide what to do and what not to do to make it a great year.

This is my new year gift to you. A candid advice. Have a plan. Set your goals!