MY NEW YEAR GIFT TO YOU: A CANDID ADVICE

I do not have any new yew year resolutions or any bad habit to break, nevertheless, I have plans. I have goals to achieve before the end of this year.

   Dear reader, what are your plans? So many people live their lives as they see it. Every day, they wake up and set out for the day just like that. With no plans: no ambition for the day. When asked what their plans are, they give answers like, “Well, I just live each day as it comes.” I used to be like that before. However, I realized overtime that when you live like that, you just have to accept whatever you see. I know there are certain circumstances we cannot control, nevertheless, having a plan makes it easier for you to live each day with a sense of direction, knowing where you are going to and what to expect by the end of the day.  So each day, you live with the goal of moving a step closer to achieving your plan for the year.

   Goal setting is a key to achieving your goals. You may not be able to achieve everything, but you can achieve some or most of it and if possible everything. The importance of goal setting in our daily lives cannot be over emphasized as even the Bible in Habbakuk 2:2 says,

                          “And the Lord answered me and said, write the vision and 
                            make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”

You need to have a plan for your life starting from today, so much so that whoever walks into your life gets acquainted with it and runs with it, i.e walks/works with you in that direction . This is why it is so important to mind the kind of people you surround yourself with as they have a lot to contribute to whether or not you will achieve your goals. A lot of people are so lost and confused about life, and that’s usually because they don’t have a goal. The equation is like this:

Goals + plans + execution = realization/achievement

You may have a good job or business that earns you a lot of income, enough to feed and clothe, but still feel empty. This is because there is more to life than just eating and wearing clothes.

   Goal setting helps you in different ways. One of the most important was is, it helps you set your priorities right. For instance, if it’s necessary to buy that new shoe or hand bag, if you must take that trip, etc. every day, you need to focus on how your plans for the day moves you an inch closer to the big picture. By goal setting, one can analyz one’s needs by drawing a scale of preference, starting from the most important to the least. Hence, you have a perspective as to what your anticipations are and how you will go about achieving them.

	Take a test       Ask a friend or a relative, “what are your plans for the year?”

 

You will be shocked at some of the answers you’ll get.

    It’s a new year, many have entered in anticipation of what the year will bring to them. Truth is, it is not about what the year has to offer, but what you are bringing into the year. It’s about the plans you have put in place to achieve in the year. The year is not going to live itself. You and I are the ones who will live in the year. Hence, the ball is in our courts. It is our responsibility to decide what to do and what not to do to make it a great year.

This is my new year gift to you. A candid advice. Have a plan. Set your goals!

A Prostitute That Cuts Man-hoods for Rituals! Hmmmmmm!

A 23 year old prostitute who specializes in cutting off male organs is being held custody at the Imo State Police Command.Uche Agunta told the Sun

“I am a prostitute and I smoke. I have a gang and we specialize in sleeping with men and cu­ting their manhood during sex.  We use the manhood for money rituals. I have killed seven men in the hotel in Owerri. They had sex with me after they have paid me N3, 000 or N5, 000. I would be on top of the man and in the process I would bring out blade and cut off his manhood.

I do hand over the manhood to our gang leader. They always promise to pay us N150, 000 for each manhood we could supply, and which they used for money ritual. I dropped out at JSS 3. I stopped going to school when I lost my fa­ther, but my mother is still alive. I joined a gang where some ladies initiated me into a cult. Our main concern is going after male organ for ritual.

I have given birth to three children. I sold the first and second children for N200, 000 each. The third child is a boy and he is staying with my mother. On November 2014, the man met me at Oyima Street, Owerri. He gave me N2,000 to have sex with me. It was around 3.00pm. The victim took me to the hotel in Owerri and he was having sex with me. I was on top of him and when he was enjoying it, I brought out my blade and I started cutting his manhood. But it hadn’t cut off when he started to shout for help. Then they came to arrest me and he was rushed to the hospital. I was arrested and I have confessed to the police.”

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR NAIRA?

    So before I returned to Nigeria, I heard that the price of dollar had increased to #180 a dollar. I couldn't help but wonder, what is happening to our Naira? What is going on with our economy? We already have enough political/religious/security issues that we are dealing with, what with the addition of a downsizing economy. I wrote a piece before on I Weep for My Country. I know we are better than most African nations, but truth be told, so many nations are doing much better than us in leadership and economically. And why is that? Who is truly responsible for the situation of things in Nigeria?

     Recently I saw someone on Facebook put up a post about how some people believed that Nigeria was not ready for her independence as at the time she got it. I for one agree with them. I mean, look at her. From 1960 till now. Nigeria has been continuously faced with wars, both tribal and religious. We are not the only country that are multi-cultural! Anyway, I think I’m digressing. Let me get back on point. So, as I was saying, what is happening to our Naira? Can someone tell me? Explain to me and the rest of the Nigerian citizens that are on the loop on this matter. I asked an acquaintance of mine recently, “Why is the value of Naira so dependent on that of dollars?” He explained how that Nigeria depends so much on America for a lot of things, of which to gain those fringe benefits, Nigeria must keep doing business with the American Dollar because that is the way America benefits from our country. I’m not quoting him verbatim, but it’s a summary of what I understood from everything he explained. Hmmm…I breathe. So let me get this straight, it’s a situation of friends for benefits kind of thing, yeah?

   Ok, let’s say I understand that and I totally agree we should keep doing what we do with the dollar, but must we do it at the expense of our own economy and citizens who are barely managing to keep up with the inflation in the system? I mean, every Christmas season alone, the prices of flight tickets, especially into the country and locally are hiked excessively among many other things. What effect does this have on the masses? Everyone is sent on a rat race, trying to meet up with travel expenses, gifts, food, clothing and so on. This finally results in a high rate of criminal/immoral activities towards every end of year. Ghana cedis used to be very much less compared to the Naira, but right now, that story isn’t the same. I don’t know about Togo, Cote D’voire and the surrounding nations.

    I’ll give a recent illustration on the value of Naira both locally and internationally.  As I sat down in the reception room for the Friendship Hotel, located inside the Ethiopian International Airport, this young man walks up to me, “You want to make a call?” I looked up to him and smiled. “Well, yes. I don’t mind.” “Ok. Let me check how much airtime I have.” He scrolled through his phone for a few seconds, then he turned back to me. “You will buy recharge card?” “How much is that?” I asked. “It depends on you, uuuuhm, you can give me 5 dollars?” he replied. I thought about it for a second and replied, “Well, I don’t have cash.” He said, “You don’t have dollar?” I nodded. “What about dhiram?” (That is the UAE currency) “No I don’t” I answered. “But I have Naira.” And then he goes, “aaaaaaawww. Naira don’t work here” I’m like. “Really?!” he nodded and walked away as I shook my head disapprovingly.

    Like seriously, it may not matter to you, but it does to me and many others. Our money has no value beyond our borders. This is the same reason our people would rather cross over to other countries on foot to go and slave and get paid in dollars because its value is worth more than Naira. I don’t just want to keep complain. So let me also state my suggestion on this whole matter.

I think Nigeria should keep doing business with dollars, but not at a very high rate. I am not an economist, neither am I good at statistics, but I’m aware that our government has the power to make some remarkable changes that can improve our economy. I look up to a time when Nigerians will actually have leaders that have the interest of the nation at heart. Leaders who truly seek the well-being of our beloved nation.

Cheers!

Some Reasons Why Most Hollywood Marriages Fail

   Every time a Hollywood marriage fails, the media gives us reasons like ‘irreconcilable differences’ as the cause of the divorce. The purpose of this post is to demystify these ‘irreconcilable differences’. We shouldn't swallow everything the media sells to us. Either you find out things for yourself or you think outside the box regarding some matters. In this case, Hollywood divorces have become trendy, they have succeeded in making broken marriages look very glamorous and stylish. I bet some people have separated because one partner finds it trendy that Kim Kardeshian broke up with her ex in less than a year after they tied the knot. I don’t know if these celebrities are aware of the impact their lives have on their fans, especially the very obsessive ones (celebrity wanna-look-alikes) who want to practically be like them (I pity them though). Well, l have observed some of these celebrities, and I see a pattern in their divorce. I could be wrong, so you are welcome to leave your comments below.

Before we take a look at some of the causes of celebrity failed marriages, I’d like to point out that ONE major cause of divorce is MARRYING FOR THE WRONG REASONS:

·       

• Class difference/compatibility: This problem is a very tricky to understand, but let’s take it one step at a time. Many celebrities marry because they belong to the same class, “celebrity”. Let’s take a look at J. Lo. Don’t get me wrong, I love that woman and she seems like someone that is quite down to earth, but she married how many times? 3? Why must it be Ben Affleck or Mark Anthony? All those years when she was ‘jenny from the block’, wasn't there anyone who loved her for who she was? Wasn't there any man who doesn't need her to boost his ego, use her as a conquest or add to his celebrity status? I wouldn't know the answers to those questions which is why I leave them open.

            Point: A celebrity mustn't marry another celebrity.

•         Misplacement of priority: This is a mega problem among celebrities. What is more important to you? Is it the fame and fortune attached to “the” marriage (depending on who you are getting married to) that is more important to you or is it the marriage itself. People want different things. It is just terrible that these days celebrities are ripping each other off through divorce. They get married after a couple of months, they get a divorce and then divide the properties and cash too. The wise ones are taking advantage of pre-nuptials to escape such gold-digging carnivorous partners. In a situation where both parties are celebrities, it may not be about the money. It could be about the glamour of being married to someone, it could be lust, it could be for a career boost, etc. once they get what they want out of the marriage, they file for a divorce and tell us it’s an irreconcilable difference.

            Point: They say trust is very important in every relationship. True, but do anything you can                 to find out for sure what your wife/husband to be truly wants out of that relationship.

•             Selfishness: This is when one is concerned chiefly or only with oneself and your advantage to the exclusion of others. I always make references to the bible because it is my life manual. Now, Jesus talked about three things; faith, hope and love. Of which the greatest of them all is love. He goes further to emphasize, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Most times these celebrities are infatuated. So when the reality of being married sets in, they begin to manifest the ‘lovelessness’ in their hearts. Each party is thinking about him/herself alone. No one wants to put each other first, or put him/herself in the other party’s shoes. Each wants what is good for ‘me, myself and I’. Now that’s an irreconcilable difference.

            Lesson: Only dubious, mischievous, covetous and greedy people marry for selfish reasons.                 You need to be sure why you or your partner wants to tie that not. Do not let the beauty                     and glam deceive you, not all that glitters are gold.

•             Immaturity: Sorry to blow your bubbles, but maturity is not age, neither is it $60 million in your bank account. Hence, the fact that you have featured in a couple of movies and released one or two albums and have a huge amount of money to your name doesn’t mean you are ready for marriage! Maturity is a state of mind. It is the way you handle things, it is responsibility, it is sacrificial, it is emotional independence, etc. you need to be veeeeeery sure that you are matured enough to settle down: to become a wife. I was so impressed recently watching Iman being interviewed on television. She’s been married for more than 10 years. She said. “I still prepare breakfast for my husband every morning. My busy schedule does not stop me from being a wife to my husband.” Many celebrities allow the glam and fabulosity of there life eat into their marriage. They also give the media a lot room to pry into their private lives. What they should sort out as a family, they let the media and the public sort for them. They replace understanding, kindness, unconditional love, affection for selfishness, greed, covetousness, infidelity, etc.

            Point: Strong meat is meant for adults not babies. Hence, marriage is a strong meat. Only                   matured minds can handle it.

     I will summarize by saying that a few years back, I was ranting about how I want to settle down soonest when my brother-in-law sat me down and asked me some deep questions. He asked, “you want a husband that can take care of you right? Can you take care of your husband?” He emphasized on this by saying that there is a reason God called the wife a ‘helper.’ He asked me if I can control my emotions. If in the worst scenarios, I can control myself and not lose my cool on my spouse, etc. By the time we were done talking, I had a re-think. I was convinced I wasn't ready for marriage (as at then. *smiles*). Ever since then, I also determined in heart never to let other peoples’ getting married, society or family pressure lure me into an untimely and unprepared journey to that destination.