Every time a Hollywood marriage fails, the media gives us reasons like ‘irreconcilable differences’ as the cause of the divorce. The purpose of this post is to demystify these ‘irreconcilable differences’. We shouldn't swallow everything the media sells to us. Either you find out things for yourself or you think outside the box regarding some matters. In this case, Hollywood divorces have become trendy, they have succeeded in making broken marriages look very glamorous and stylish. I bet some people have separated because one partner finds it trendy that Kim Kardeshian broke up with her ex in less than a year after they tied the knot. I don’t know if these celebrities are aware of the impact their lives have on their fans, especially the very obsessive ones (celebrity wanna-look-alikes) who want to practically be like them (I pity them though). Well, l have observed some of these celebrities, and I see a pattern in their divorce. I could be wrong, so you are welcome to leave your comments below.
Before we take a look at some of the causes of celebrity
failed marriages, I’d like to point out that ONE major cause of divorce is
MARRYING FOR THE WRONG REASONS:
·
- Class difference/compatibility: This problem is a very tricky to understand, but let’s take it one step at a time. Many celebrities marry because they belong to the same class, “celebrity”. Let’s take a look at J. Lo. Don’t get me wrong, I love that woman and she seems like someone that is quite down to earth, but she married how many times? 3? Why must it be Ben Affleck or Mark Anthony? All those years when she was ‘jenny from the block’, wasn't there anyone who loved her for who she was? Wasn't there any man who doesn't need her to boost his ego, use her as a conquest or add to his celebrity status? I wouldn't know the answers to those questions which is why I leave them open.
Point:
A celebrity mustn't marry another celebrity.
- Misplacement of priority: This is a mega problem among celebrities. What is more important to you? Is it the fame and fortune attached to “the” marriage (depending on who you are getting married to) that is more important to you or is it the marriage itself. People want different things. It is just terrible that these days celebrities are ripping each other off through divorce. They get married after a couple of months, they get a divorce and then divide the properties and cash too. The wise ones are taking advantage of pre-nuptials to escape such gold-digging carnivorous partners. In a situation where both parties are celebrities, it may not be about the money. It could be about the glamour of being married to someone, it could be lust, it could be for a career boost, etc. once they get what they want out of the marriage, they file for a divorce and tell us it’s an irreconcilable difference.
Point:
They say trust is very important in every relationship. True, but do anything
you can to find out for sure what your wife/husband to be truly wants out of
that relationship.
- Selfishness: This is when one is concerned chiefly or only with oneself and your advantage to the exclusion of others. I always make references to the bible because it is my life manual. Now, Jesus talked about three things; faith, hope and love. Of which the greatest of them all is love. He goes further to emphasize, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Most times these celebrities are infatuated. So when the reality of being married sets in, they begin to manifest the ‘lovelessness’ in their hearts. Each party is thinking about him/herself alone. No one wants to put each other first, or put him/herself in the other party’s shoes. Each wants what is good for ‘me, myself and I’. Now that’s an irreconcilable difference.
Lesson:
Only dubious, mischievous, covetous and greedy people marry for selfish
reasons. You need to be sure why you or your partner wants to tie that not. Do
not let the beauty and glam deceive you, not all that glitters are gold.
- Immaturity: Sorry to blow your bubbles, but maturity is not age, neither is it $60 million in your bank account. Hence, the fact that you have featured in a couple of movies and released one or two albums and have a huge amount of money to your name doesn’t mean you are ready for marriage! Maturity is a state of mind. It is the way you handle things, it is responsibility, it is sacrificial, it is emotional independence, etc. you need to be veeeeeery sure that you are matured enough to settle down: to become a wife. I was so impressed recently watching Iman being interviewed on television. She’s been married for more than 10 years. She said. “I still prepare breakfast for my husband every morning. My busy schedule does not stop me from being a wife to my husband.” Many celebrities allow the glam and fabulosity of there life eat into their marriage. They also give the media a lot room to pry into their private lives. What they should sort out as a family, they let the media and the public sort for them. They replace understanding, kindness, unconditional love, affection for selfishness, greed, covetousness, infidelity, etc.
Point:
Strong meat is meant for adults not babies. Hence, marriage is a strong meat.
Only matured minds can handle it.
I will
summarize by saying that a few years back, I was ranting about how I want to
settle down soonest when my brother-in-law sat me down and asked me some deep
questions. He asked, “you want a husband that can take care of you right? Can
you take care of your husband?” He emphasized on this by saying that there is a
reason God called the wife a ‘helper.’ He asked me if I can control my
emotions. If in the worst scenarios, I can control myself and not lose my cool
on my spouse, etc. By the time we were done talking, I had a re-think. I was
convinced I wasn't ready for marriage (as at then. *smiles*). Ever since then, I also determined in
heart never to let other peoples’ getting married, society or family pressure
lure me into an untimely and unprepared journey to that destination.
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